So....feel free to ignore any and all posts on this blog. I just need a place to vent - and for some reason online journaling seems to work for me. Mostly because I prefer to type than pick up a pencil or pen and I still want something that I can look back on in a year or so and say "What in the world was I thinking?" :p
Anyway....
The inspiration behind today's post is...text messages. More specifically - text messages that were not intended for your eyes, but for someone else's. A word of advice here - which I am sure has been given by others many times over - do NOT go through a guy's cell phone unless you are prepared for what you might see. I guess someone should have beaten that into my head just a little bit better...because I ignored that oh-so-wise advice this morning. And trust me - I did NOT like what I saw. :(
To me he sends (Sunday, September 30th at 10:52 a.m.) "I want to be with you. I have from the first time I met you."
Sweet, right? Makes your heart melt and you get all gushy inside. As did the special dates...trips to The Oasis Hot Tub Garden, a night at the casino and hotel, text messages in the middle of the night asking me to cuddle with him, and all that jazz.
Then this morning I get a phone call from him at 4:45 a.m. and he is drunk as a skunk, but wants to come over. Which he did....and it was AWESOME. Well, it was awesome until he fell asleep on top of my cellphone. I needed to know what time it was (to put my son on the bus), so I grabbed his phone to check.
What can I say....there was the proverbial angel on one shoulder saying, "No, no, don't do it!" and the devil on the other saying, "Eh, might as well know for sure if he is lying again."
No surprises there. He lies.
Right as he was sending text messages to me to come over to my house - he was sending the same damn text to his ex-girlfriend. Now doesn't that make me feel oh so special! Bleh!!!!
So f course I confronted him about it. Woke him up out of a dead sleep in fact to kick him out of my house and bed. :) At which point he pretended to be all innocent - until I mentioned that I had SEEN the text message. Grrr!!! His excuse = he was drunk. He tells me that he hasn't been there and that he would never have sent the message if he wasn't completely shit-faced. My cousin and I have a phrase for situations like this...we yell "Bullshit Flag!" If any situation demanded a bullshit flag - this would be it.
The funny thing is - even though I know he is lying - I can't seem to make myself care. I am more worried that he is going to stop talking to me or stop seeing me than I am about whether he is seeing her too. And for that I feel like a completely pathetic loser.How in the world did I end up in this place again???? Just how much can you take from a guy before you really, truly stop loving him?
I wish I knew! And I wish love had a damn off switch!!!!!!!
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